Getting To "No" Is More Valuable Than Rushing To "Yes"
Lesson 3 of 25 from podcast conversations with leaders who leave the world better than they found it
Doris Chela Muigei has spent years as a recruiter watching organizations make hiring decisions. She's noticed a pattern that has nothing to do with resumes and everything to do with clarity:
When clients rush to "yes," they haven't done the real thinking yet.
They like the candidate. The person seems great. Why wait? Let's make the offer.
But Doris has learned that the clients who get to clear "no"s—with specific, thoughtful reasons—are the ones who actually know what they need. The rejection isn't the failure. The hasty "yes" is.
"Getting to 'no' reveals what you're really looking for," she told me. "It forces you to articulate why something doesn't fit, which means you actually understand what would fit."
This isn't just true for hiring. It's true for every strategic decision your organization makes.
The Problem With Saying Yes To Everything
Mission-driven organizations operate in a culture of scarcity and abundance simultaneously.
Scarcity of resources—never enough funding, never enough time, never enough capacity.
Abundance of opportunities—partnerships to explore, grants to pursue, programs to pilot, relationships to cultivate.
This creates a specific kind of dysfunction: we say yes to everything because we're terrified of missing the one opportunity that could change everything.
That foundation wants to talk? Yes.
This partner wants to collaborate? Yes.
That consultant has an idea? Yes.
This pilot seems promising? Yes.
And before you know it, your organization is doing seventeen things reasonably well instead of three things exceptionally well.
You're reacting to opportunities rather than executing on strategy.
organizations without the discipline to say "no" don't actually have a strategy. They have a list of things they're currently doing.
What "No" Actually Reveals
When Doris works with clients who can articulate clear "no"s, she sees something shift. The rejection isn’t vague—"not the right fit" or "we're going in a different direction."
It's specific. "This candidate's experience is in scaling established programs, but we need someone who can build from scratch." Or "They're brilliant at analysis but we need someone who can execute quickly in ambiguous situations."
Those "no"s contain strategic clarity. They reveal what the organization actually values, what gaps actually need filling, what trade-offs actually matter.
The same is true for your strategic decisions.
When you say no to a partnership, are you saying it because you're too busy? Or because partnership itself isn't aligned with your theory of change right now?
When you say no to a grant, is it because you couldn't make the deadline? Or because accepting that funding would pull you away from core work?
When you say no to a pilot, is it because you don't have capacity? Or because you've learned that more pilots aren't what you need—you need to scale what already works?
The reason behind your "no" matters. It tells you what you're actually optimizing for.
The Three-Opportunity Audit
Here's an exercise that will reveal whether you're being strategic or just opportunistic:
List three opportunities you said "yes" to in the last year.
These could be grants you applied for, partnerships you entered, programs you launched, collaborations you joined—any significant commitment of resources and attention.
Now ask yourself three questions about each:
Why did we say yes? Not the official reason. The real reason. Were we strategic or just available? Did this align with our theory of change or did we need the money?
What did we sacrifice to say yes? Every yes is a no to something else. What didn't happen because you committed resources here?
If we could do it again, would we? With the benefit of hindsight, was this yes worth the trade-offs?
If you're honest, you'll probably find at least one yes that should have been a no, and that's valuable information about what you're learning to prioritize.
Why Strategic Focus Is Hard
The pressure to say yes is real. I get it.
Funders want innovation and partnership. Saying no feels like you're not being collaborative enough, not ambitious enough, not open to possibility.
Your team wants to try new things. Saying no feels like you're shutting down creativity and enthusiasm.
Your board wants to see growth and activity. Saying no feels like you're being too cautious, too rigid, too small-thinking.
But here's what I've learned from watching organizations that actually achieve outsized impact: they're ruthlessly selective about what they pursue.
They don't say yes to every good idea. They say yes to the few ideas that are genuinely great for them, at this moment, given their capacity and strategic direction.
They eliminate good options in service of great ones.
What Clarity Actually Enables
When you get clear about what you won't do, something shifts.
Your team stops spending energy on proposals that were never going to win. Your leadership team stops debating partnerships that weren't strategic fits. Your board stops asking why you're not pursuing every tangential opportunity.
Everyone gets on the same page about what matters.
And that clarity creates capacity.
Instead of being reactive—responding to whatever opportunity shows up in your inbox—you become proactive. You pursue what you know you need rather than what's available.
Instead of spreading thin across seventeen initiatives, you concentrate resources on the three that will actually move the needle.
Instead of explaining to stakeholders why you're everywhere and nowhere, you can point to deep impact in focused areas.
Strategic focus isn't about doing less work. It's about doing the right work.
The Courage To Say No
Doris's insight about recruiting applies to every strategic decision: the clients who can clearly articulate why something doesn't fit are the ones who know what does fit.
Getting comfortable with "no" isn't about being closed-minded or risk-averse.
It's about being clear about your strategy.
It's about honoring your capacity.
It's about having the courage to eliminate good options so you can pursue great ones.
Next time an opportunity comes across your desk and your instinct is to say yes because you might miss something—pause.
Ask: does this align with our strategic priorities?
Ask: do we have the capacity to do this well?
Ask: what are we saying no to if we say yes to this?
And if the answers reveal misalignment, have the courage to say no clearly.
That clarity will save you more time than opportunity-taking ever will.
This is lesson 3 in a 25-part series exploring insights from podcast conversations with leaders who leave the world better than they found it.
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